In April, during a particularly sucktastic tantrum of Miss A's, I made a behavior plan for her. I don't know what inspired me, but it was truly inspired. Since then she's only had a handful of bad days, and they were nothing compared to her bad days before.
Behavioral
Goals and Consequences
Goals:
To show RESPECT for people and property, and to show SELF-CONTROL.
To show RESPECT for people and property, and to show SELF-CONTROL.
·
Do not yell.
·
Do not insult people or call them names.
·
Do not bucket-dip.
·
Do not touch someone if you are angry with him
or her.
·
Do not slam doors or throw, punch, or kick
things.
·
Do what Mom and Dad tell you the first time, without complaining or
throwing a fit.
·
Say “Okay,” or “I will,” or “I’ll be right
there” to let us know you’ve heard us.
·
You should not need us to start counting before
you start obeying.
·
Do not argue with Mom and Dad. If you have made
your points more than once, that is arguing.
Consequences:
If you fail to show RESPECT and SELF-CONTROL on a given day, you will lose the following privileges for the remainder of that day and the next:
If you fail to show RESPECT and SELF-CONTROL on a given day, you will lose the following privileges for the remainder of that day and the next:
·
Playing with friends
·
iPod, DS, video games, computer time,
television, and other electronics
·
Staying up past 7 p.m. bedtime
Measures:
When you
are not meeting your goals:
- You will receive a spoken warning so you know what you are doing wrong and have the chance to correct it. You stay on green.
- If you continue not meeting your goals – this includes arguing about the warning – you will receive a 15-minute time out alone so you can calm down.* You move to yellow.
- If you still continue not meeting your goals – this includes yelling or slamming doors during your time out – you will not have met your goals for that day and you move to red.
*Touching someone when you are angry (hitting, kicking, pushing,
squeezing, etc.)
or spitting on someone is an automatic 15-minute time out and move to yellow.
We will keep track of your progress on the calendar.
or spitting on someone is an automatic 15-minute time out and move to yellow.
We will keep track of your progress on the calendar.
Reward:
When you are able to meet your goals at least 5 days each week for a month you will earn back the following privileges:
When you are able to meet your goals at least 5 days each week for a month you will earn back the following privileges:
- Auditioning for shows
- Participating in other activities outside of school
- Spending the night with cousins or grandparents
- Having cousins or close friends spend the night
- Attending birthday parties or other events that last past 7 p.m.
You will lose these privileges again if you are not able to continue meeting
your goals at least 5 days out of every week. If you lose them, you will have
to earn them back by meeting your goals at least 5 days each week for a month.
Believer it or not, this is working! She LOVES having this written out and will call Jason on it if he starts to send her to her room before giving her a warning. I am really obvious about the warning -- I say, "This is your warning for today. If this behavior continues you will have a time out and go to yellow." She usually tries to argue at that point, and I then state that she's made her point and if she continues that will be arguing, and she will need to go to her room and move to yellow. Then, most of the time, she pulls it together.
The time outs are nice, too. I made them long because 15 minutes is about the bare minimum Miss A needs to calm down. Because she can move so quickly to yellow/time out, she usually isn't so upset now when she's in her room. But I set a timer and when it goes off I tell her she can come down whenever she is ready, and I try to act all cheery like everything is fine -- it's a fresh start. A couple times she's come out of her room or stomped around when I've sent her up, and depending on her attitude about it I either restart the time out (for merely leaving her room) or move her to red (for stomping or yelling down the stairs at me).
We have this taped inside the pantry door, where it is out of sight and won't embarrass her, but it's also convenient enough that we can refer to it anytime.




