Today I Parented Purposefully, and it made my head hurt. I tried to be patient and to carefully explain why each transgression was unacceptable. I did this over the shrieking of my eldest, She Who Brings the Drama. I found myself explaining words like, "compassion," and "considerate," and "obedient," and asking questions like, "Do you think this is the way Jesus treated his brothers and sisters?"
This is so not me. Maybe that's why my head hurts and I feel as though I need a good cry.
Anyhoo, the WWJD conversation went like so:
A: SCREAM SHRIEK SHRILL BITCHERY!
Me: Let's think about whether this is how Jesus would have spoken to his little brothers.
A: HE DIDN'T HAVE ANY LITTLE BROTHERS! [tone is unmistakably, "Duh!"]
Me: Yes, he did. He had a bunch of little brothers and sisters and I am sure they were very irritating, but I don't think he probably spoke to them like this.
A: SUBJECT CHANGE! YOU HATE ME!
Me: [pondering] What would Mary do? Did Mary ever want to bop her children on the tops of their fool heads with her fist?
Today our sitter came over again, and I left to work but was called back because G had collided with the corner of a wall, and had a large bruised lump on his head, and promptly fell asleep. The economy has hit even the medical industry here, as evidenced by the poor people skills exhibited by our pediatrician's nurse, and by the fact that she said, "Here, I'm going to read to you out of a book," and then proceeded to do so for 5 minutes. Lady, I have internet access. I wanted advice.
She also hadn't been trained to look at a patient's chart when discussing them over the phone, because she made sure to tell me head bumps are common, especially when children are learning to walk. Hey, this ain't my first time at the rodeo! Look at his chart! He's nearly 5, has a twin brother, is one of four kids, and has had stitches in this very same forehead! Indeed, head bumps are common in my household, so if I'm calling about a head bump it's probably pretty freaking huge.
Anyway, the suggested course of treatment was waking him every four hours, enough that he can talk and walk around; sleeping in the room with him; and observing him closely for 48 hours.
The cool thing about this is that he and P are once again mirror images of one another, with P's now-green with red speckled forehead bruise, and G's large blue lump with a red racing stripe.
Mommy Break
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When it comes to children and pets, I can be extremely patient, and I
confess to being rather proud of this trait. A lot of people tire of my
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Ha ha ha, yes, I'm pretty sure Mary had thoughts like that. Probably frequently. She was a mother after all. And human, no matter what the Catholic church says.
ReplyDeleteHope the head wounds heal happily!
JEEZ. Boys are so prone to this kind of injury. The almost 2 yr. old across the street has daily encounters that would make most adult cringe and wonder how he gets up from it. We're always teasing about him cracking the concrete with his hard head. Not a day goes by he doesn't have a large knot or bruise on his face. Poor G.
ReplyDeleteHa! I'm sorry to laugh at the cranial misfortunes of your boys...but know that I only find humor because I live there too! Also, I try to be intentional with my kids, but this goes off well about once in a blue moon when all the stars align and at least 2 of 4 children are on heavy duty cold medicine of some kind. Mostly it's just putting out fire after fire!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI think you need to find a new pediatrician. That nurse cracks me up, though. Experience trumps education, that's for sure. You wouldn't want to hear what I said to the school "nurse" when she tried to explain to me that head lice isn't such a big deal.
ReplyDeleteOh, as both Ray Guarendi and John Rosemond are quick to point out, when children want something, they don't respond well to reasoned explanations of why they cannot have it. You'll never hear an irate child say, "Oh, yes, mother, I see clearly now. That was so good of you to explain it to me."
In other words, Purposeful Parenting? Is probably horse***t. But you'll figure that out on your own in another day or two.
I think what you are looking for is a type of parenting that enables you not to fly off the handle when your daughter starts behaving like the Tasmanian devil. I definitely would consult Dr. Ray. He rocks. And he has 10 children. Check him out and tell me what you think!
One benefit to parenting that way is that way for me is that I don't feel like a schmuck at the end of the day if I have managed not to yell and scream. May not do much for the kids, but it does help me to stay calm and not yell.
ReplyDeleteAnd that nurse. Please. I had to endure about 20 minutes of a male co-worker giving me completely unsolicited parenting advice about how to get the kids to go to bed without fighting once. Made me want to poke his eyes out.
No way could I 'do what Jesus would do" if a nurse started patronizing me and reading to me out of a book! I am proud of you for being so patient and maybe some of that Purposeful Parenting will come to me sometime soon.
ReplyDeleteLove it! I have tried many parenting approaches but I'm not sure I could swing a WWJD with a straight face.
ReplyDeleteLast weekend we were with some friends and all the little kids (including my own three year old hellion) got into a brawl. The mother of the other two kids brought them all together and started asking them in a very calm, psychoanalytical voice how they each were "feeling" prior to the "confrontation" and could they "brainstorm" on an "approach" together in order to "resolve" their differences".
She was talking to an audience of two and three year olds.
It took my own little darling all of thirty seconds to decide brainstorming and constructive expression weren't her thing. Instead to chose to scream "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" and run circles around the other kids until the poor Mom gave up on conflict resolution and ushered her kids onto another activity and away from my daughter.
That'll teach her to try and "good parent" my kid!
Ha! Loved this whole post (except for the part where your kids got hurt...) Heehee! TOTALLY understand!
ReplyDeleteParenting purposefully is for people with patience. Around here the hellions fall in line as soon as I begin to growl softly...and I often don't even realize I'm doing it.
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness, this one had me giggling. I can't wait till L is old enough for the WWJD speeches. Maybe I'll start practicing now.
ReplyDelete