I forgot to tell you about one of the other nuggets from yesterday:
While I was outside tending to my garden (naturally irrigated with driveway rain runoff to save Mother Earth) and Hanes was running around in a t shirt and diaper and bare feet, and four other kids ranging from 4-8 were watering my hardwood floors for me, I was summoned to the front yard.
"Mrs. Jennifer, someone wants you," the neighbor boy said. Charmed by someone calling me "Mrs. Jennifer," I didn't ignore him. He led me around the front of the house, where two well dressed ladies carrying leather-bound Bibles were picking their way across a sidewalk littered with bikes, wagons, chalk, helmets, wagon rail pieces, and bungee cords. (Used to lash the wagon to the Barbie car.)
I bolted.
The ladies pursued me up my driveway, so I tried to act like I hadn't been running from them. They introduced themselves. One was named "Blanche." They said they were interested in getting my opinion. Inwardly, I bet that they were mistaken.
"We are wondering," the older one said, "Our banks have requirements for giving us a loan, and there are requirements blah blah blah, and do you think our creator has any requirements?"
Let's take a step back, shall we? What can they expect from this conversation?
a) I will agree with them, in which case they are wasting their time.
b) I will disagree, and we will debate back and forth.
c) I will be the one person living in a suburb of a major city who has never heard the Gospel, and they will convert me.
d) I will send them on their merry way.
I think there are precious few people who have never heard the Gospel. I think there are a great many people who have never seen the Gospel. Perhaps one's time is better spent showing people the love God has for them, than in telling people about it door to door.
Anyway, I told them I agreed our creator probably does have requirements, but that I don't discuss religion with strangers, and especially not in front of my children. And super-especially not in front of someone else's child! Is it just me, or is religious education a highly personal thing that ought to be left to each parent/family?
The ladies continued to stand there, as though they were waiting for me to say more. I was uncomfortable and nervous, and continued, making reference to possible debate. They said, "Oh!" and walked away, laughing as though they couldn't believe how rude I was. I felt badly about it and was awash in self-loathing for a while.
I didn't mean to be rude to them, and I don't think I was. I prevented them from wasting my time and theirs. But still, I feel like turning down a missionary makes me a bad person, or puts me on the outs with The Big Guy. I am sure the ladies sincerely believe that what they are doing is their calling from God, and I don't want to disrespect that, but I don't want to listen to a lecture on religion in my driveway with my toddler in her t-shirt and diaper, and four other little people around listening.
Bleh.
Your thoughts?
Mommy Break
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When it comes to children and pets, I can be extremely patient, and I
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i'm laughing b/c when we first lived in spokane a group from the neighborhood evangelical non-denominational church came by to welcome us to the neighborhood and also to make sure I knew that Jesus was my Lord and Savior.
ReplyDeleteI do in fact know that He died for me and I was also so desperate for friends at the time (C was at school/soccer all the time and i was alone a lot) that I invited them in and we chatted about how great God is for 2 hours.
It totally freaked C out that I'd let strangers in, a group of them no less.
It totally freaked me out that I was so desperate for someone to talk to I'd take anyone. Or five anyone's who only wanted to make sure my eternity was safe in God's hands.
Wow, if sending them on their way makes me a bad person...I am going to Hell. Uh, actually I might already be there come to think of it.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I alternate. On a normal day I live in fear of nice people selling religion. When I am bored or otherwise vexed I chat happily about my deep commitment to Allah. Nothing throws them like a Muslim.
So...from avoidance to abusing missionaries for my own personal amusement...I am going to Hell for sure.
Honestly, they should respect whatever you tell them, especially if you do it in a polite manner. Not sure how I"m going to deal with this after my conversion to Judaism... not too keen on being told I'm going to Hell, nor do I care to get into a religious discussion with strangers. You were absolutely right to not talk about religion- especially in front of other people's children. It's a personal thing.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Lizanne
The way I look at it is that they are coming to your house into your space asking for your time. It is perfectly acceptable to say no. Now if you walked into a church and yelled at people, that would be a different situation.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Laura. There's nothing inherently rude about essentially saying a firm "no thank you" to someone who comes to your house to basically sell you something (even if money isn't required). If you don't care to discuss it, you can say no thanks, which is basically what you did.
ReplyDeleteI like to throw 'em off and tell them I've already left the Catholic church to convert to Judaism. It's true, and it confuses the crap out of a surprising number of people. :-)
Good thing I don't believe in Hell.
oh how similar you are to your cousin jason...i'm going to forward him this post. i fully agree with you--in fact, i'm going to bank this info so i know how to handle such a situation in the future.
ReplyDeleteAlmost no one (at least not in our generation) appreciates the very impersonal approach of 'door to door' or 'street evangelism'. You are absolutely correct that many Christians never exhibit the love of God.
ReplyDeletePS I recently found this blog again, after having followed the 'old' one. I don't comment as often as I should, but I always enjoy your posts!
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ReplyDeleteI'm afraid I might have cast a spell on a couple of Jehovah's witnesses once. They came to the door. I didn't want to answer it. Then they POUNDED on the door and I thought that if they continued to knock like that, the angry wasps clinging to the nest over the screened door would erupt and strike down upon them with great vengeance and furious anger and they would the Lord laid his vengeance upon them.
ReplyDeleteAnd that's just what they did. They started screaming and when I looked out through the blinds, I could very clearly see two clinging to the cheek of the younger fellow. Then they ran and boy did they run. I'm not sure who was responsible, me, Satan or Jesus but it all worked out for me in the end.
At least you didn't attack your visitors.
And I totally agree with your take on things.
I think door-to-door evangelists are rude, even when they are smiling and being polite. They need to be handled with firmness. I am a faithful, practicing Catholic -- which to them is also anathema -- and I do believe that a relationship with "the Creator" is entirely private, personal, and not something I would discuss with strangers, especially strangers who think they have all the answers. What kind of debate would that be? Not much of one.
ReplyDeleteYou aren't rude. They are. Smiles and bibles and all.
I think you were polite. Essentially, they offered something and you said, "No, thank you." They were rude to pursue it after that. Really, religion doesn't enter into the discussion at all.
ReplyDeleteSt. Francis said, "Preach the Gospel at all times. When necessary, use words." In other words, kind, loving actions get the point across better than debates or lectures.
You were more polite than I would have been. I have been known to say that if I wanted to change religions I would initiate that myself.
ReplyDeleteWhat would Jesus do? I think Jesus would have said, "Thanks Blanche and Blanche's friend, but we're cool. We got this. Now excuse me, but I have to go put a loving, gentle halt to my hardwood floor-irrigation team."
ReplyDelete(Actually, probably not, but I think you handled it wonderfully.)
No way were you rude. I don't get the whole selling-your-religion anyway. And if someone comes to my house, I'm going to tell them to go their merry way too. But I am a wuss so I will probably first tell them that I, too, am a member of whatever religion they belong to. Ugh.
ReplyDeleteI would have done the same thing. WHen Emily was a few weeks old I had some knock on my door. She was screaming at the time. These crazy ladies continued to talk to me while I was trying to sooth a newborn baby (1st child mind you). I was freaking out. I finally had to tell them my baby needed my full attention and they needed to leave. Aurgh.
ReplyDeleteYou did the right thing. You probably engaged with them further then the majority of people they run across. I think the souls of your great grandchildren are safe.:)
ReplyDeleteMy family and I split time between a baptist church and a catholic one. I don't feel like I would classify myself as either but when the missionaries come a knockin' a quick "I'm catholic" will usually send them sprinting the other way.
Dont listen to Cristal. You and I both know they get extra points if they convert a catholic. I think you were perfectly diplomatic and charming as always.:)
ReplyDeleteHa! How many points for converting a very left leaning catholic/baptist feminist SAHM? And what would you even convert her to anyways? :)
ReplyDeleteI once was on a plane for a long trip and enjoyed a nice casual conversation with a woman I sat next to for most of the trip. Towards the end of the flight, it was getting pretty bumpy and I think I was a little jumpy and nervous. She took that opportunity to ask me if I believed Christ was our Lord and Savior and if I accepted him into my life completely out of the blue. I said yes and then turned away from her. In the process of still praying to God that I would land safely I was also very uncomfortable and put off by her directness and intrusion into that invisible line you don't cross with strangers. I agree it is very personal... at least you could escape them, I was stuck next to this woman in complete uncomfortable silence for the remainder of the flight.
ReplyDelete