where i begin my epic battle with the technology

Ack! I am trying to publish posts I'd dragged over from my old blog, but they are posting to today? And that is not cool?

You guys, today I experienced what life for my grandma must be like. She is about to turn 90, and she is pretty good about knowing what is going on. She still drives herself around and she's alert and follows current events, blah blah blah. However. She is 90, and the most up-to-date electronic device she owns is a microwave. Oh!!! She has a minivan with a fancy automatic side door, and she accidentally opened it once at a stop light and drove the rest of the way home with it open because she had no clue what was going on.

That is me with my new phone.

I upgraded my phone because I need to be able to access my work stuff (email, documents, etc.) when I'm away from my office. I was a responsible consumer and researched and stuff. I knew what features I wanted and blah. For me, grasping that amount of boring was a real feat.

This phone is insane. I accidentally updated my Twitter account with a tweet of my username. Whoopsie! I comically tried to get voice dialing to work. Ha! I couldn't figure out how to do actual dialing. My speed dials are gone. I don't know where to see whether I've missed calls. Even the how-to book -- detail-free and clearly designed for people like me whose attention spans-- What was I saying again? Anyway, even the how-to book assumes I already know how to find that sort of info. Or maybe a notification pops up, because I don't think I've missed any calls, at all, not a single one Jason...


Today I thought about how intimidating and confusing automatically flushing toilets must be to elderly people who have never encountered them before. And automatic faucets. I just want to wash my hands! Tell me where the dadgum handle is so I can turn on the water!