I considered writing something thoughtful and touching today, about motherhood and whatnot, but instead I'll write more about poop.
As faithful readers will recall, Jason and I had spent seven solid months building a very comfortable relationship on booze and sex, when we conceived Miss A in a bathroom at halftime of the Ohio State-Michigan game in 2001. With that sort of careful planning to ensure that ours was a bond that could last a lifetime, we have been shocked to discover, as time has passed, that we have almost nothing in common. However, we have been able to push through our differences because of our commitment to and love for these four things:
- the work of Will Ferrell
- coarse language and crude humor
- pimiento spread, and
- a firm belief that dog poop in our yard is unspeakably offensive.
My experience at the school the other night was rapidly followed by Jason mowing the lawn and stepping in dog poop. This isn't the first time we've stepped in someone else's dog's poop in our yard. This wasn't either. It is sweeps month and Jason decided to harness the power of the media to GET SOMETHING DONE about this dog poop problem. He pitched a story about the legality of leaving your dog's poop wherever, and he pitched it under the heading, "Breaking Poos."
Unbelievably, no one was interested in the story, and in fact he was admonished to, "Quit being a pussy and say 'shit' like a man." Apparently the liberal media is conspiring to allow the intellectual elite to dispose of their dogs' poop in the yards of hardworking Americans just like you and me. :(
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We actually bought our house to escape poop covered apartment grounds. The apartment even provided bags and special trash cans for them. I'm not a dog person and I have just recently started seeing a neighbor's dog roaming our backyard every day (and have to run out and shoo him and say, "Go poop in your own yard!) so maybe next time I find poop I'll replace it with some kid poop in his yard... I hope that smells good when his lawnmower tears it apart.
ReplyDeleteHa. I want the world to know that I always pick up my dog's poop and have even shortened his back yard lead so he cannot get anywhere near the neighbors yard.
ReplyDeleteI also have poop bags that hook right to his leash so I always have them when I walk him.
And at least twice a summer I find large dog turds (large turds from a large dog) in our front yard. It is disgusting.
poop.
ReplyDeleteyou also have mojo in common, just where it might be? ... and then there's kids, location, and i have to say, will ferrell is a pretty big one. . . i'm more of an adam sandler girl, myself. . . oh well.
here's to the search.
k