i'm distracted from the boys' problems by two shiny goldfish

Thank you for your comments on my previous post. This morning G fell off his bed and required a trip to the pediatrician (and a sling -- he's so excited!) so I was able to get the signed form allowing him to have his methadone Aquaphor during school hours. This almost could not be more perfect. I can hand in the form along with a scathing note pointing out the irony (or maybe not, depending on whether I determine I'm using the word properly) of their requesting a snapshot of my child with his medication, when it wouldn't make a damn bit of difference even though my boys don't look the same.

And that provides a perfect segue to all of my other concerns. And maybe a perfect opportunity to manipulate the principal into assigning the boys the grade 1 teacher I want them to have next year!

Right now I'm channeling all my hopes and fears for the children into the two remaining carnival goldfish we won the weekend before last. The carnival and resulting goldfish deserve a separate post, but basically I've killed three goldfish and a hamster in the last 10 days, armed with nothing but benign neglect and the overpowering stench of failure. One of the remaining goldfish has some sort of tail fungus, and I'm actually going to run to an aquarium store tomorrow and buy him medicine. WTF is wrong with me? I just really need him to live. I need a win.

Seriously, I'm so worked up over this. My shoulders hurt like I remember from when I was getting divorced. I have no appetite. I have spent ridiculous amounts of time Googling goldfish-related info, and I've discovered that there is no one more self-righteous than a goldfish enthusiast on a message board dedicated to the care of goldfish. They would have words for me if they knew we'd sent Tiny, Shiny, and Flame to watery graves in the space of 10 days. For one thing, burial is the only decent way to dispose of the remains. Preferably in a marked grave, unless you're cool with being a terrible person. I'm getting there.