the school's anti-drug policy leaves us chapped, literally and figuratively

As I've mentioned before, a fairly reliable way to tell my boys apart is the excessive facial chapping G suffers during cold weather, due to his seeming inability to close his lips and/or swallow. With temperatures fluctuating recently, poor G's mouth has been raw and red and he told me it hurts all the time at school.

The one and only thing that helps is Aquaphor. Vaseline don't do jack. Blistex and Burt's Bees lip balms hurt his raw skin, and Chapstick burns even at the best of times. Because I'm a reasonable person, I sent G to school with a tube of Aquaphor so he could focus on school rather than being distracted by pain throughout the day. I included a note to his teacher, so she wouldn't give him a hard time about taking care of his needs. More on that later.

A couple hours later the phone rang, and it was the school nurse. His teacher had confiscated the Aquaphor and sent it to the office, then a distract-wide task force had met to discuss whether Aquaphor is a controlled [at school] substance. Turns out it is. Because of the mineral oil and the other ingredients the school nurse struggled to pronounce. Nurse Sherri can slather Vaseline on his face whenever he wants, or I can have a doctor fill out a form (more on that in a minute) giving my son permission to use this over-the-counter cream.

What's important to note here is that my word on what my kid needs isn't adequate, even though we're talking about an over-the-counter product -- not even a medication.

I attended the kindergarten field trip a couple weeks ago and was assigned a group that included my sons and two other boys. My sons have peed their pants at school a bunch of times this year, and each time they've come home in their wet clothes, even on the days when it's been below freezing. I attributed it to their bathroom being disgusting (because it is awful and I dry heave whenever Helena has to use it). So on the field trip, it had been about three hours since the kids had used the bathroom. We were eating lunch outside, then planning to take a nature walk, so we wouldn't have easy access to a bathroom.

G told me he had to go, so I went to tell the teacher I was taking him... and she said, "Oh, I'm hoping not to get into that," then looked at G and said, "Can you hold it?" He looked at the ground and nodded. I quietly asked him if he could really hold it, and he shook his head no. His teacher was annoyed that I was taking my kid to the bathroom three hours after he'd last gone, rather than walking off into the woods where he'd have no chance to go for a while.

I do get how annoying it is to take a big group of kids to the bathroom. I understand why she was annoyed, but I think it's unreasonable to try to talk a kindergartener out of using the bathroom, when it's been more than a couple hours since he's last gone.

And again, my word on what my kid needs is not enough.

What makes my chest tight with rage is that the school and teachers (a group of teachers, not all of them) are projecting themselves as the experts on what my children need... yet they don't know which of my boys is which, after 7 months of school.

And most galling part of this is that, on the medication form that a doctor must fill out and sign so my son can use Aquaphor, the school requests that I send a snapshot of my child with the form, so they can be certain medication is given to the right child.

My sons have been put in the wrong reading groups and given the wrong interventions. The idea that a snapshot should protect my child from being given the wrong medicine is laughable, infuriating, and very frightening given what has happened this year. If I had a child who could not express him or herself, I would not feel he or she was safe at school. I'm worried as it is.