On the 1st, I tore construction paper into strips and asked the kids to take turns naming people we care about, so we could pray for them or do something nice for them. It was a lovely thought. The kids were excited to show their love for the people they care about... like Rudolph, Blitzen and Comet, our cats, and Santa. They listed one grandmother, then got in a hurry and listed, "Grandmas, all except Nana" on another paper. Attention to detail, folks. It's what we teach here.
On the 2nd, I managed to find the Elf on the Shelf book and doll at Hallmark and broke that out. They were pants-pissingly excited. It was really cute... but has since backfired because they want to build shoebox houses and leave food offerings for the elf, so there are bits of bacon and toast and green apple Nerds in little containers all over the dining room floor.
On the 3rd, we had a holiday festival and parade and whatnot. The kids took turns being angry and bitter. The parade was followed by a spectacular fireworks display, shot off from the top of a 3-4 story building in our little downtown. It was awesome. I have a theory that our town's pyrotechnics manager (or whatever that job is called officially) was fired by a neighboring town, and replaced by someone he disliked. Then he was hired by our town, and since then every fireworks-worthy occasion has been part of his pissing contest with this neighboring town. It's only a theory, but I'm just saying, our fireworks displays are off the hizzy.
Today we made gingerbread cookies. Holy crap, everything is so stressful. They're all angry about someone else getting to crack the eggs or getting to lick the beater with the green tip. I hate that I'm so stressed out when we do stuff like this. I know it rubs off on them -- I can already see it in Miss A, how she has to control EVERYTHING all the time or she wigs out. And the worst part is that this is me doing well. I am on a medicine that helps a lot. I feel like I am at my baseline, like this is how I with my personality can function effectively. I'm not manic, I'm not depressed, I'm nice and normal. But I would love it if my personality included the ability to bake cookies with the kids without Lamaze breathing.
"In a catastrophic emergency, you're taking giant panicked breaths. Suddenly you become euphoric, docile. You accept your fate. It's all right here. Emergency water landing - 600 miles an hour. Blank faces, calm as Hindu cows." -- Fight ClubUnfortunately Lamaze breathing is not enough to bring me to euphoria or acceptance. However,the parallels between gingerbread cookie-baking and a plane crash are uncanny.
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"I would love it if my personality included the ability to bake cookies with the kids without Lamaze breathing."
ReplyDeleteBwahahaaa. Nice try. Wouldn't we all.
Love all your attempts! And the kids are just going to grow up and with their kids be like " how did my mom do this?" they will just remeber the good! I had Dylan help me make boxed brownies the other night and it felt like torture! God Bless you Woman!
ReplyDeleteYou are not alone, you know. Baking with a bunch of young children would have tried the patience of Mother Teresa.
ReplyDeleteFortunately, for her, "Mother" Teresa never had any kids!!! We would never had heard of her if she had. She'd have been in a corner babbling like the rest of us!
ReplyDelete...the ability to bake cookies with kids without Lamaze breathing...I love it, and I so empathize! Our girls were out of sync with their sleep schedules a bit yesterday, so I had A by herself for an hour. We baked bread! It was nice! I didn't even freak when I think she got a little raw egg on her hand...I just washed her hands! Add another kid (or two, and/or a cat) into the mix, and it's a whole different ballgame. ;)
ReplyDeleteI know! Sunny's birthday was Saturday and I felt like you and then eventually I was the one who had a tantrum. Not any kids. I cried and yelled and she said I ruined her birthday. She said, "I guess I'm not that big a deal!" But after the presents she said it was the best birthday ever. Maybe instead of lamaze you just go ahead and hyperventilate and pass out. That might work. Love you.
ReplyDeleteYesssssssssss. I love it. I'm beginning to think that the silver lining of moving out of my house and into my in-laws basement, is that those stupid advent boxes are packed in our POD, thereby relieving me of the duty to buy 24 ADDITIONAL gifts (crap) this year.
ReplyDeleteMy friend Katy told me while she bakes she gives her kid a bowl, flour, sugar and various accoutrements that having nothing to do with the actual end product. I could have fallen on the floor at the genius of it. It's too late for my older kids, but kid 4? He is totally gonna fall for it.
ReplyDeleteYou need to write a "What to expect- The multiple kids in under 5 years edition". I was starting to think something must be wrong with me, them, or both since we can't get through a single organized event without someone crying. I'm quickly losing my enthusiasm for creating memories and traditions in favor of movie and pizza night at home.
ReplyDeleteI can't cook with my kids. I've tried. It usually turns ugly. That being said, my Mom is coming over next weekend to help me and the kids bake Christmas cookies for all the neighbors. Let the breathing begin.
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