i feel like life is getting away from me.

If you're a long-term reader of my riveting blog, you might be thinking I haven't updated because I abandoned my December activities habit. In previous years I've usually given up by now. But this year I'm still going strong, mostly because the kids force me through it.

On the 5th, I made them write letters to Santa. They protested because they don't know what they want yet, but I insisted because Santa doesn't want to pay for expedited shipping. They asked for super-cute stuff like a stuffed Puss in Boots and a stuffed Rudolph, then they drew pictures for Santa and wrote notes professing their love for him.

On the 6th, Haney learned about St. Nicholas at preschool. And in fact, St. Nicholas visited the preschool and left candy in the children's shoes while they were on the carpet! She came home very excited about St. Nicholas, and upset that I hadn't told her to put her shoes out. This must be how Jewish people feel at Christmastime, except they don't also have a belief in Hanukkah Harry to uphold. It was a tricky situation. And also, I don't understand the lore of St. Nicholas. Is he Santa, giving a preview visit? Is he Santa's helper? Is he a separate guy who is very similar? Our exposure to St. Nicholas has been when studying him as a historical figure when I was attempting to homeschool Miss A during preschool, and I had elevated him to a higher status than just "Santa's helper," so I don't know how to work this. Catholics? Any help?

Anyway, Haney was in a tizzy telling the older kids about it. So, I said they should leave their shoes out and maybe he would come after all. The older kids asked if it would really be me, and I said yes, but then they seemed to forget that and got way into St. Nicholas and when he would arrive and how great he is.

Tonight we were going to decoupage wrapping paper onto styrofoam balls, and make ornaments. It was one of the worst craft fails I've ever had (because I don't do a lot of crafts). But before that, I got on the phone with my sister and when I got off and went to summon they kids, they were building Santa's workshop in the boys' room. They'd made construction paper elf hats for their animals and Haney, and they'd seated the animals at the train table and scotch-taped hammers to their paws. They'd harnessed three reindeer (I was a little surprised to realize we have three stuffed reindeer) with a tinsel garland and tied them to the boys' bunkbed. P had stuffed his shirt with a pillow and was wearing a Santa hat and fretting about how to make a beard.

Miss A is starting to lose her shit again more frequently, after a long period of calm. And I'm stressing about how G is really hard to know, in a way. And in everything I do I have the sense that things are getting away from me, which is so hard because I desperately want to control everything. I'm back to showering only every other day, and I have no excuse not to be showering daily! I can't even describe what's going on, except to say that time is whipping by and I am dizzy.