i must issue a new edict on hair styling etiquette

This morning Miss A was peeved before she even rolled out of bed. I hurried downstairs to sit beside her and manage her snarling during breakfast so she wouldn't destroy us all. I couldn't allow her to get out of control, because tonight we had tickets to see the Disney princesses ice skate. Once a few years ago we had tickets to see princess Jasmine in a musical, and Miss A was awful so we didn't go, and I've regretted it ever since. So I didn't want to add more pain to my life by missing yet another opportunity with the princesses.

After school we drove the boys to Jason's work and then my phone guided me through the projects to Quicken Loans Arena. It was a stressful drive. Miss A was asking, "Mom, is this the right way? Mom, why are all those people standing around outside at night? Mom, why are all the windows boarded up in that building?" And I was like, "YES I'M SURE THIS IS THE RIGHT WAY NOW SHUT UP I'M TRYING TO HELP US NOT DIE!!"

Like any life-threatening experience, our scenic tour of downtown was a bonding experience and we had a great time with the princesses.

However. The people in front of us included a grandma, mom, and a few kids. The mom had ENORMOUS hair. The grandma was a close runner-up. The mom's hair took me back to the early 1990s, hair-wise. There was this girl named Jen Leverenz in the grade ahead of me, and her hair was a sight to behold. The most exceptional part of it was that her bangs made a straight 3-4 inch wall up from her forehead, with just a little curl at the top. It was like this hairstyle, except her bangs weren't teased. They were a smooth wall with clean lines stretching to the very top, where they were crowned with a decorative cornice.

Anyway the mom's hair wasn't that spectacular, but it was curled and teased out and sprayed then curled again then sprayed again. It was a solid, immovable mass, like a curly blonde helmet. And it was big. When she and her mother sat down, both of the girls started squirming around trying to get even a glimpse of the ice through the cumulus clouds of hair in row 6.

Do you really tease your hair before you go to a show where you'll be sitting in front of little kids? I don't, but that's because I tease my hair about once a year and it's before I'm going to be getting drunk enough that I won't mind how my hair feels the next day. I call this celebration, "Halloween." But from now on I've pledged to keep my hair slicked to my head with hair gel and mousse whenever I might be in front of a little kid at a movie/play/concert/show. That will also help prevent me catching lice, which I am pretty sure I caught tonight while trying to scrunch low in my seat so the kid behind me could see.