i would like a prescription for an internal numbing cream, please

Today is DAY 10 of fever. I think she topped out at 100.6 today so they're going down... she usually has a lower temp than 98.6, though.

So while her fevers are improving, I do not think her health is. She perked up a little yesterday morning at the dr., until her blood draw. Since then she's been down again. She laid around all yesterday and fell asleep on the sofa around 7:30. Tonight she fell asleep at 5:30, slept until Jason woke her at 7:15, ate two waffles, and asked to go back to bed. And she did, by about 7:45.

She also looks like hell.

I called our regular pediatrician because I had the thought that even though her lengthy fever and abnormal blood work are linked in my mind, maybe no one else is paying attention. She didn't have a real fever at the specialist's office yesterday, and for all I know her pediatrician is done with us now that he's passed us along. So I called and the nurse agreed she needed to be seen again, so we go in at 10 tomorrow morning.

I am still clinging to some rare gene mutation or something being the cause of all this, but in innocently trying to look up how one treats a condition of being unable to metabolize B12, I found an abstract from an article published in a medical journal that said B12 levels above a certain threshold, more than 95% of the time, are because of something scary and cancer-y. And Miss A's levels are well above that threshold. But as I told Jason, our new rallying cry is WE ARE THE <5%!

I felt calm and fine today during the day, but once the kids and I got home from speech I suddenly felt very alone and uncomfortable. There's no one I can talk to about this. I can't sit around researching stuff all the time. I am distracted enough that it's hard for me to be patient when dealing with important problems like, "He looked at me," and "He farted and it smells," and "She thinks she's older than us." I'm forced to just sit with this and I don't like it.

Where is my mfing blood work? Why is it that Dr. House never has to wait a week for lab work? He can analyze every blip of a person's DNA from the smell of their pee or the way they blink. Where is my TV super-doc? Why can't I have a human laboratory at my disposal?