please note that my 2012 resolution didn't have anything to do with my parenting skillz

On New Years' Eve our dear friends were here visiting. Everything was going well. The kids were in their jammies, being cute and looking adorable. The big girls were going to stay up til midnight for the very first time. The adults were enjoying some champagne, when the relative calm was shattered by Miss A's wails.

Blogworld, our worst fears have been realized: Oscar the hamster has passed on to that great Rubbermaid container in the sky.

Somehow I have managed to kill off two hamsters and a handful of goldfish in less than a year. I tried to float the idea that my friend's preschoolers had killed Oscar with their bare hands, but no one seemed to buy it. I probably starved him to death or something. But in my defense, he was really peppy just the day before and I assumed everything was awesome. Sorry, Oscar. Rest in peace.

In possibly related news, Jason plays World of Warcraft. The boys play it too, sort of. They make characters and run around, and sometimes they can do very simple quests that require little to no reading. After Jason went to work today the boys stayed on the game, rotating turns every 20 minutes. I was in an endless loop of helping the girls in and out of their snow gear. G asked me how to spell "following" at one point.

Later I heard them cackling and asked what was going on. They stumbled over each other telling me they told "some guy" they were 27 and something else I forgot in the ensuing freak out of realizing they were actually chatting with a live human. I had no idea that 1) they knew how to access that function or 2) they could spell/read/type well enough to chat. I mean, I text G on his iPod and he never writes me back. I now realize that says less about his reading level and more about his desire to chat with me.

I raced over to the computer in fear that they were being propositioned by some perv, but in fact it was the other way around. The transcript read something like,
BOYS: I    AM    FOLLOWING   YOU
Dude: I know.
Dude: lol
BOYS: YOU    WAN    A    DATE
Dude: nope, i'm married.
Dude: How old are you
BOYS: 27
Dude: more like 7
[Me: HA!!!!!]
BOYS: I   SEE   YOU
Dude: leave me alone
Dude: I'm married
BOYS: WAN     A     DATE
Dude: i told you, i'm married. i am a dude.
Dude: leave me alone! i have a  %^(#!

G & P, trolling for some strange

[Jason has a language filter on, fortunately]

I can only imagine that in between typing the boys were stripping their character down to his skivvies and making him dance.

I quickly messaged the guy that they were 7 and I was so sorry and had no idea they could chat, and he replied, "that's okay, kinda funny, lol," so I can only assume all is forgiven. Then I told the boys no more chatting. If day 2 of 2012 has my 7-year-old barely literate sons sexually harassing a married man over the internet, I can only imagine the wonders the rest of the year has in store!

"YOU   WAN   A     DATE?"